Hi patient readers!
This summer I took some time off to focus on Jesse while he was out of school. Honestly I didn’t write much because the past few months were mentally and physically taxing. It was hard but rewarding because my goal was to invest in my son’s heart while we had uninterrupted days. Motherhood ain’t easy and part of that is because of how much it requires to give of ourselves- daily- hourly- sometimes minute to minute.
But the sweetness comes when praise songs we’ve been listening to over and over start to bubble up out of his little voice. It’s when the things I have been teaching him for so long and start to feel pointless finally click. I saw his character form more over the summer and mine too. His speech has blossomed and he’s testing the waters of independence more. We still have a long way to go, but that’s okay.
As a mom to a child with autism I’m learning that I don’t need to assume his limits. Meaning, it just might take more time, but he’ll achieve milestones eventually. Like learning to ride a bike has been a challenge. Jason and I got him a bike (with training wheels) for Christmas. For the longest time he only wanted to sit on it. And he was even timid about that initially. Then over the summer he began to pull his bike out out more. He would sit on the bike and let me gently push him from behind as he learned to steer.
Lately he has shown interest in working the petals but we aren’t there yet. And that’s just fine because I believe in him to get there one day. His confidence in his own abilities has to click first.
Pouring into Jesse’s heart as well as working on developmental skills has been the main agenda since the beginning of summer. I think it’s like this for all mothers really; there isn’t a set time to start and stop such a huge task. There are seasons I’m focused more on these things and there are times when others (church leaders, teachers, therapists, family, friends) help take the driver’s seat. It really does take a village to raise children, special needs or not. I always seem to be re-learning this because my job feels isolating, and can be if I let it. But God didn’t create us to live independently from each other. We need helpers in the community and the body of Christ to come along side of us.
Jesse is seven. It seems to be going by so fast on one hand, while daily living can feel monotonous. And yet I know these are the formative years I don’t want to waste. Staying faithful is the key. I’m grateful for our invaluable time together over the summer, but the school year will be good too. There is more time for “his village” to teach him, allowing me to still be a person and re-charge, hopefully to be an even better (nicer?) mom. May we learn that it is not good to parent alone, and receive help from others. Let us bless those around us, remembering that leaning on one another isn’t weakness but life-giving.
Grace upon grace,
If you are looking for an online community to help you navigate parenting a special needs child this is an encouraging space to go to: Anchored Souls: Real Hope for Real Life